~ Toys For Tots ~ Candle Light Vigil - Illinois

Chicago, IL - For Immediate Release

~ TOYS FOR TOTS DAY ~

We would like to introduce ourselves ; Laps For Love a non for profit org. which is planning a ~ Toys For Tots Day ~ Candle Light Vigil event at 16501 South Kedzie Parkway Markham , Illinois 60428 .

We are inviting you our friends and your families to join us on Saturday April 24 , 2010 at 6 :30 p.m. The location is the Markham Courthouse and our gathering will be on the North East side of Kedzie . There is a driveway that leads you into the parking lot and you must turn either left if headed south on Kedzie or right if you are headed north on Kedzie . The predicted weather forecast of rain /storms may warrant us to gather briefly outdoors but then also go indoors at a location nearby to eat and fellowship if we need to .

A memorable national event on April 25 , 2010 joins people and communities from across the entire United States and abroad to declare *Parental Alienation Awareness Day* .

There are families who are kept apart from one another . There are children who are taken from their parents and never returned .

Laps For Love .Org would welcome all local media , any radio sponsors , other organizations and legal communities to share a ~ Toy For Tots ~ as these donations will be given to patients/ children in a neighboring hospital . If donating a toy , stuffed or non stuffed is unlikely please consider making a cash donation to Laps For Love .Org who will have their dark black shirts on and logo in blue - white .

There are other means for this event which we want all of you to consider and that is : How can you make a difference in the lives of Children ? There will always be various levels and conditions of housing for children , mentoring opportunities with children , tutoring the children , community clothing exchange for children , sport training camps for boys / girls etc...

But once again : How can you make a difference in the lives of Children ?

Are you willing to come and donate a toy on April 24, 2010 at 16501 South Kedzie Parkway Markham , Il. 60428 at 6 : 30 pm .

We are sharing this invitation with many organizations and we look forward to your participation . This gathering can bring comfort for a child who has not seen his/her own biological parent , guardian , or kin and you can make the difference when a toy , or cash donation is offered to Laps For Love. Org and join the many families who want parental alienation to end .

The wet weather may cause us to relocate to a neighboring restaurant and that can be decided amongst the participants and we invite all to join us even if the weather is dry .

Most likely going out to fellowship and eat is a promise .

If this message is received and you feel compelled to share it we encourage you to send it , re post it and let others know. We look forward to meeting you and we thank you for your love and care to children and their families . Laps For Love. Org

President
Carrie Adams cja3freespirit@yahoo.com
lapsforlove@yahoo.com

Co - President
John Furbee f4j.john@yahoo.com
lapsforlove@yahoo.com

Illinois Fathers Gazette - April 10th Rally - Chicago, IL

Illinois Family Law Study Committee - Family's Rally - Chicago

     Our Saturday April 10th event taking place in Chicago represents the best opportunity we have ever had to influence the family law system here in Illinois. The Illinois Family Law Study Committee is meeting that morning and we are holding our event in order to let the committee see that there are many of us who are not happy with the way the system is currently forcing parents away from their children. The Illinois Family Law Study Committee was formed for the purpose of examining the current system and proposing changes to the system. Once this process is done, the legislature probably will not want to revisit this issue anytime soon. You can rest assurred that our opposition has had a voice in this process.

     Like our website home page says, "This is where the rubber meets the road". In our quest to fulfill our responsibilities as parents, we of course see the right and mostly the wrong of what is happening in the family courts. We must take a little time to step back however and view the politics of all this. Simply put, we have allowed our opposition to thump us politically for many years. The Morning of Saturday April 10th is when we can demonstrate to our elected officials that Illinois Parents are fed up with being forced out of their childrens lives.

     Like our website home page says, "This is where the rubber meets the road". In our quest to fulfill our responsibilities as parents, we of course see the right and mostly the wrong of what is happening in the family courts. We must take a little time to step back however and view the politics of all this. Simply put, we have allowed our opposition to thump us politically for many years. The Morning of Saturday April 10th is when we can demonstrate to our elected officials that Illinois Parents are fed up with being forced out of their childrens lives.

     Of course, children are welcome. We plan to make this event peaceful and respectable. We really do not need any outrageous signs or behavior. What we truly need is an outrageous number of people to attend !

Capitol Weekly: Preventing courts from considering parental alienation will harm kids

Capitol Weekly: Preventing courts from considering parental alienation will harm kids

Illinois Fathers Gazette - Announcements

    Our next scheduled event is for Wednesday, February 17th at the Peoria County Courthouse. Back in November, Judge Richard McCoy responded to Pro Se litigant David Ihben's request for shared parenting time positively by encouraging the Mother to step outside the courtroom and work out a shared time parenting arrangement with the Father (David Ihben). This shared parenting agreement was in place and working out quite well for 6 weeks.


     During a December 11th hearing that was supposedly for other issues, the Judge did a complete reversal on his earlier shared parenting speech, and instead made the familiar statement, "if thw two of you cannot work together, then I have no choice other than to give full custody to the mother and visitation to the father." Our member, David Ihben, explained that he was holding out his hand to work together with the Mother, and that the shared parenting agreement had worked without any problems during its 6 week duration. But because the Mother took the stance that she "could not work together with the Father", the Judge took the shared parenting agreement away from the Father. Keep in mind that typically, a Judge will not change a custody arrangement without a major change in circumstances having had occurred.


     David is in the process of taking this decision reversal to the appelate court. Part of this process is going through the hearing with Judge McCoy that is called a motion to reconsider. On February 17th, at the Peoria Courthouse at 2:30 in the afternoon, David intends to present as evidence the transcript of Judge McCoys own words where he praises shared parenting.

     We are asking our membership to consider showing up on the afternoon of Wednesday, February 17th at the Peoria County Courthouse. We will start by conducting a peaceful protest outside the courthouse beginning at 1pm. At 2:15, we will move inside the courtroom to witness the hearing.

    If David and Illinois Fathers can find some success in reinstating David's original shared parenting arrangement, it would be an excellent precedent setting case that the rest of us can use. Please consider taking the time to attend the important event at the Peoria Courthouse on the afternoon of Wednesday, February 17th. The Peoria County Courthouse is located in Peoria on the corner of Jefferson and Main.

     Also taking place next week, the RADAR organization will be conducting a major lobbying effort and media effort called ABUSEGATE. The purpose of ABUSEGATE is to shine some light on the problem of rampant false accusations, restraining order abuses, and other abuses of fathers, families and children that are currently taking place. Early next week we will release more information about how you can help.
     One last thing, we are holding a support group meeting the evening of Monday, February 22nd at the Urbana Public Library (Champaign area). The meeting will begin at 6:30pm. A big thank you goes out to member Ms. Joni Cox for arranging this support group meeting in her area. We hope to see you there !

A Hidden Crime: Domestic Violence Against Men Is a Growing Problem - DailyFinance

A Hidden Crime: Domestic Violence Against Men Is a Growing Problem - DailyFinance





By BRUCE WATSON
Posted 10:30 AM 01/30/10 Healthcare

Amid the media frenzy over Tiger Woods and Bengals receiver Chris Henry, a key aspect of both stories slipped through the cracks: Like millions of other men, Woods and Henry were -- allegedly at least -- the victims of domestic violence perpetrated by their wives or girlfriends. Beyond its brutal physical and psychological costs, domestic violence against men exacts a cruel economic toll at the personal, societal and national levels.For the most part, the media, authorities and average citizens see domestic violence as a crime that is committed by men and victimizes women. Consequently, funding to combat the problem has overwhelmingly been spent on programs that support women.

Widely Ignored Problem

And yet, more than 200 survey-based studies show that domestic violence is just as likely to strike men as women. In fact, the overwhelming mass of evidence indicates that half of all domestic violence cases involve an exchange of blows and the remaining 50% is evenly split between men and women who are brutalized by their partners.

Part of the reason that this problem is widely ignored lies in the notion that battered males are weak or unmanly. A good example of this is the Barry Williams case: Recently, the former Brady Bunch star sought a restraining order against his live-in girlfriend, who had hit him, stolen $29,000 from his bank account, attempted to kick and stab him and had repeatedly threatened his life.

It is hard to imagine a media outlet mocking a battered woman, but E! online took the opportunity to poke fun at Williams, comparing the event to various Brady Bunch episodes. Similarly, when Saturday Night Live ran a segment in which a frightened Tiger Woods was repeatedly brutalized by his wife, the show was roundly attacked -- for being insensitive to musical guest Rihanna, herself a victim of domestic violence.

Lack of Research

Sometimes it is impossible to ignore the problem, but when domestic violence against men turns deadly -- as in the case of actor Phil Hartman -- the focus tends to shift to mental illness. The same can be said of the Andrea Yates case, which many pundits presented as the story of how an insensitive husband can drive a wife to murder.

Much of the information on domestic violence against men is anecdotal, largely because of the lack of funding to study the problem. Although several organizations explore domestic violence, the biggest single resource is the Department of Justice, which administers grants through its Office on Violence Against Women.

For years, the DOJ has explicitly refused to fund studies that investigate domestic violence against men. According to specialists in this field, the DOJ recently agreed to cover this problem -- as long as researchers give equal time to addressing violence against women.

First National Study

Researchers Denise Hines and Emily Douglas recently completed the first national study to scientifically measure the mental and social impact of domestic violence on male victims. Interestingly, their research was funded by the National Institutes of Mental Health, not the DOJ. Not only does this demonstrate the lack of resources for researchers of this issue, but it also suggests that male battering is perceived as a mental health issue, not a crime.

This decriminalization of domestic violence against men affects research conclusions. While survey-based studies have found that men and women commit domestic violence in equal numbers, crime-based studies show that women are far more likely to be victimized. This inconsistency begins to make sense when one considers that man-on-woman violence tends to be seen through a criminal lens, while woman-on-man violence is viewed more benignly

A recent 32-nation study revealed that more than 51% of men and 52% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a wife to slap her husband. By comparison, only 26% of men and 21% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a husband to slap his wife. Murray Straus, creator of the Conflict Tactics Scale and one of the authors of the study, explained this discrepancy: "We don't perceive men as victims. We see women as being more vulnerable than men."

Kneed In The Groin

This trend becomes particularly striking when one considers the 1996 case of Minnesota Vikings quarterback Warren Moon, who tried to restrain his wife after she threw a candlestick at his head and kneed him in the groin. Subsequently charged with spousal abuse, he was only acquitted after his wife admitted that she attacked him -- and that her wounds were self-inflicted. Ironically, her admission of fault did not result in charges being brought against her.

While Moon's trial was particularly high profile, his situation is actually very common. In fact, studies have found that a man who calls the police to report domestic violence is three times more likely to be arrested than the woman who is abusing him.

The mainstream perception of domestic violence also impacts the resources that are available to battered men. For example, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, the only national toll-free hot line that specializes in helping male victims of domestic violence, has faced numerous roadblocks in its search for funding. In Maine, where the helpline is based, the surest route to funding is through membership in the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence.

On A Shoestring

But, according to Helpline director Jan Brown, the Coalition refused to even issue the program an application for membership, effectively denying it access to funding. Today, 45 Helpline volunteers field 550 calls per month, 80% of which are from men or people who are looking for help on behalf of a man. Operating with a yearly budget of less than $15,000, it provides intensive training to its workers and offers victims housing, food, bus tickets and a host of other services.

The Helpline's sheltering services are informal and ad hoc, largely because its lack of access to funding makes a shelter financially impossible. In fact, of the estimated 1,200 to 1,800 shelters in the U.S., only one -- the Valley Oasis shelter in Antelope Valley, Calif. -- provides a full range of shelter services to men. And, on average, less than 10% of OVW funds allocated to fight domestic violence are used to help men.

For male victims of domestic violence, the legal system can become another tool for abuse. As in the Moon case, battered men are often likely to find themselves arrested, even when they are the ones who call the police. And, even after the arrest, the process of incarceration, restraining orders, divorce court and child custody hearings continue to disadvantage men.

A High Cost

Restraining orders are a particularly difficult hurdle. Radar Services, a watchdog organization, estimates that approximately 85% of the roughly 2 million temporary restraining orders that are issued every year are made against men. In many states, the requirements for an order are exceedingly vague: In Oregon, for example, a "fear" of violence is sufficient for a restraining order, while Michigan issues them to protect family members against "fear of mental harm."

But there's nothing vague about the effect of restraining orders: They often turn men out of their homes, deny them access to children and result in further personal costs as millions of men have to find new places to live, hire lawyers and pay other expenses. For some men, as Hines and Brown point out, the legal system gives abusive wives and girlfriends tools to continue attacks even after their relationships end.

As Straus notes, "The preponderance of [domestic violence] resources should be made available to women. They are injured more often, are more economically vulnerable, and are often responsible for the couple's children. That having been said, more resources need to be made available to men."

There is no doubt that domestic violence against men can be reduced; the domestic violence initiatives of the past 40 years have brought a hidden crime to light and provided protection for millions of women. The next step is to admit that domestic violence is not a male or female problem, but rather a human problem, and that a lasting solution must address the cruelty -- and suffering -- of both sexes.

About Bruce Watson
Bruce Watson is a features writer for DailyFinance, focusing on the political and cultural effects of economic events. A contributor to Military Lessons of the Persian Gulf War, A Chronology of the Cold War at Sea, the Journal of American Philosophy, A Cafe in Space, and the forthcoming Peanut Butter, Gooseberries, and Latkes! He has also worked as a research assistant in the British House of Commons and at the United States Naval Institute.

Illinois Fathers Action Alert - Kerry Sandusky

Children Need Both Parents

Action Message

Is 2 Hours Enough?

Is it possible to have a court award of only 2 hours time with your son every week? Is it possible to be forced into a center that charges $30 an hour to watch you play patty cake with your two year old son? Is it possible for that visitation center to be filled with empty beer bottles? Is it possible this is in the best interests of our children?

Apparently so in the Markham Courthouse in Cook County (Chicago).

Illinois Fathers would like to bring your attention to Mr. Kerry Sandusky. Kerry has a two year old son, who was born out of wedlock. Shortly before the birth of his child, Kerry's ex-girlfriend moved away with his son. After refusing all visitation to Kerry for nearly a year, Kerry pursued visitation rights in the courtroom. Following the usual litigation routine that most non-custodial parents undergo, Kerry was ordered to have a home study that revealed he had a broken porch step on his property. Kerry has since moved away from this property, however, after spending much needed money on an attorney as well as investing much of his time, the Judge in his case authorized Kerry to spend a mere 2 hours a week of supervised visitation time with his son in a certified visitation center.

This based solely on the condition that the opposing attorney requested a psychological evaluation and the home study identified a broken porch step. We have not been able to identify any proof of any psychological conditions having ever existed on Kerry's behalf to warrant such a request. The problem, as we sees it, is that Kerry has not done anything wrong, or even been accused of doing anything that would justify he and his son being limited to the 2 hours a week of supervised visitation. Of great concern is that at 2 years old, this child is at the formative stages of his life. This is the time that this child defines his parental relationships and its highly questionable how that can occur at only 2 hours a week. There's no doubt that significant damage to the relationship between Kerry and his son has already occurred due to the extremely limited time they see each other, but what happens if this extremely limited time is allowed to continue? So we ask the question, "Is 2 hours enough?"

Kerry does not have the funds to afford a high paced attorney and without a generous out flowing of emotional support from the community, we fear that his relationship with his son is in danger. Illinois Fathers and their members have attempted to find alternatives to this course of action by volunteering our time to supervise Kerry at no cost on our own time, however, our members' attempts were refuted by the Judge. All this is despite the condition of the visitation center that the Court orders Kerry to go to. Kerry has photographed a barrel full of empty beer bottles(available here) in the visitation center, and he has also noted that the A/C and heat do not even work. Instead, they provide a space heater. Certainly, the love of a parent and a broken step is better than these conditions at a visitation center with beer and no heat. We question, highly, if this is in the best interests of this child!

Illinois Fathers has been unable to find an e-mail address for Judge Martin D. Coghlan, who is the Judge in Kerry's case. However, Kerry's case has been written about before in both the Kankakee newspaper, and also a Cook County Newspaper, (The Daily Southtown). We are encouraging our membership to contact both of these newspapers and ask a simple question, "Is 2 hours enough?". Letters to Judge Coghlan and phone calls to the court house are also highly encouraged. Note that they will probably not respond via phone, but simply ask to leave the message in regards to Kerry's case, "Is 2 hours enough?".

Case History:

https://w3.courtlink.lexisnexis.com/cookcounty/FindDock.asp?NCase=2007-D-650515&SearchType=0&Database=4&case_no=&=&=&=&PLtype=1&sname=&CDate=

Media Contacts:

Antonio Young, The Daily Journal (Kankakee), 815 / 937 - 3385 AYoung@Daily-Journal.com
John O'Brien or John Stein, The Daily Southtown is 708 / 633 - 4800 or 708 / 633 - 6777 jobrien@southtownstar.com jstein@southtownstar.com

Judicial Contacts:

Judge Martin Coghlan - Cook County Municipal Judge, District 6, Room 204Q, 16501 South Kedzie, Markham, Illinois 60471 - (708) 210-4170 (708) 210-4170

Please consider writing a letter, placing a phone call, or send an email to any and preferably all of the contacts above to ask the question, "Is 2 hours enough?"

Bill Coleman - NO JAIL FOR BEING A DAD

PRESS ADVISORY
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

"NO JAIL FOR BEING A DAD"

Fathers4Justice to visit with wrongfully imprisoned Bill Coleman

Washington, DC – October 01, 2009 –

Fathers-4-Justice™ U.S. (F4J) board member Donald Tenn is traveling to the MacDougall-Walker Correctional Institution in Suffield, Connecticut to meet with wrongfully imprisoned Bill Coleman as part of the Fathers 4 Justice, "No Jail For Being A Dad" campaign.

Bill Coleman is on a hunger strike because, he says, "The justice system is broken and corrupt!" Coleman also stated, "I am protesting a broken judicial system that is incapable of providing justice as well as protesting the State of Connecticut assisting in the abuse of my children. Having explored every avenue, to save my children and prove my innocence, I now believe the system is not an option for the truth to come out; and I choose to fight to the maximum with my life."

Coleman's ex-wife told police in 2002 that he raped her and a jury convicted him in 2005 of sexual assault in a spousal relationship, unlawful restraint, breach of peace, second-degree threatening and sixth-degree larceny, without any physical evidence. Coleman, 49, was given a 15-year prison sentence, suspended after he serves eight years, on his wife's testimony alone. Coleman says she falsely accused him to gain the upper hand in their child custody case. She never had a medical exam which would have included a rape kit. He passed a lie detector test, but it wasn't admissible as evidence in Connecticut.

Coleman's defense attorney, Michael Gannon had his license to practice law suspended in June 2007, yet Coleman's request for a retrial has not been approved.

Coleman, a British citizen is incarcerated in Suffield's McDougall-Walker prison, where officials want to resume force-feeding. The American Civil Liberties Union of Connecticut is assisting Coleman. Jamil Dakwar, director of the ACLU Human Rights Program wrote that "brutally force-feeding" Coleman violated his basic human rights and his right to make a political statement by refusing food.

A rally will be held in support of Bill Coleman on October 2, 2009 from 11 am to 6 pm at the prison.
MacDougall-Walker Correctional Institution
1153 East Street
SouthSuffield, Connecticut 06080