Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Mortage Meltdown, Family Meltdown! What Happened to "For Better or Worse?"

There is a sad time in our nation, the mortgage crisis caused by predatory lenders, preying on Big eyes and shallow pockets and America's thirst for a "Luxury Family Home" or "Luxury Condo", "Luxury This", "Luxury That." Sure luxury is nice, if you can afford it, but ask yourself, what ever happened to "pleasant" and "simple?"

Whatever happened to living within your means? Coveting is not a good thing folks. Coveting causes serious damage. And jealousy isn't productive as well, envy, that doesn't make you happy, does it?

Truly, being a greedy grabber can wind you up in the poor house, that is, if you can afford the mortage on it after that luxury home mortage of yours had you go belly up. Sucks, doesn't it?

So, how did this country get where it is? We'll take those big eyes and selfish desires and throw in the "credit machine." Maybe I'm being hard on calling wanting a big luxury home a "selfish desire", but hey, were you really being honest with yourself when you stepped into that septic field of finance? Could you really afford what you were getting into? Did you need that "luxury home" or could you have settled for say, something more in line with your real budget? Wants versus needs, amazing how people get stupid confusing the two.

Anyhow, getting back to how we made this mess in the housing and mortgage market, well, we continue by throwing into the mix a hard charging, motivated mortage broker willing to "work with you" on getting approved (for something really over your head) ... "We want to make sure that we get you the most money we can." Says Bob, the card shark mortgage broker. "We'll just tweak these numbers a bit..." AND POOF, With a little bit of Enron Style accounting you have a baseball field in Houston named after you. Oh, the dream of having such a big expensive home has come true, and then the rates adjusted and that first tax bill came in too. "Enron Field" just became "Fifth Amendment Field." That is America's problem, at least part of it.

I'm not a religious nut, or a bible beater, but in the 10 commandments (basic guidelines for life really), doesn't it say, "Thou Shall not Covet thy Neighbor's goods?" As much as George Carlin put it, "but that's good for the economy", it really isn't. I love George's blunt and honest comedy, but truthfully, keeping up with the Joneses isn't a good practice. And keeping up with the Joneses seems to be taking apart the American home today and sadly, it is a catalyst that is helping take apart the American Family too.

Now that we kind of understand that perhaps selfish desires played a big role in us being played as a sucker with pockets a little more shallow than we were honest enough to admit, let us look at a problem as deep as the mortage crunch and sadly, one that troubles me. This is the Mortage Meltdown and breakup of a marriage.

I was reading an article on MSNBC, Is mortgage crisis causing divorces and see that there is a correlation to mortgage busts and marital busts and I have to say to anyone contemplating divorce because of this, please, stop and think, "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer...", you know the vows, you took them the day that you promised to spend the rest of your life with the person sharing your "luxury" home with. I can understand divorcing an abuser, I divorced someone who lied to me in our vows and was a vicious and calculating abuser. Thankfully we never bought a house together, she drained all the money before that could ever happen. But for someone who truly married for love and friendship, those vows should stand through hard times.

Divorce can be a bitch on your finances if there is truly a "need" to split up, but I don't think a mortage meltdown causes a "need" to divorce. Mortage meltdown? Why take a financially hard time and make it more difficult? In a trying and difficult time as such, you should pull together, work it out, discuss solutions (other than divorce which isn't a solution). And if there are kids involved, that only makes the matter worse. Mommy and Daddy are breaking up because they can't afford our house, now, they can't afford to be parents together?

Children seeing the loss of a home can cope with and adjust to a new apartment if you have to scale back. Sticking together and working through this difficult time will teach your children modesty, to be money wise, to be conservative when they need to be by watching their parents being the good example.

In a time of financial crisis in this country, for those reading this article, if you know someone contemplating divorce simply because of a mortgage problem, tell them to read this and tell them to reconsider divorcing. Working out the credit crunch, you'll know what it is to work as a team and if you have kids, they'll feel that deeper bond because you were able to get through this dark time.

Yes, finances can be a trouble spot for a lot of couples, but you have to work together. Remember, "for better or for worse", you're in this together. Listen to each other's proposals, hear what each of you are saying, communicate productively. Remember, because A.R.M.s adjusted out of your financial reach doesn't mean that your loving ARMs have to stop reaching around each other. You can get through it, it'll just take a little work and a lot of cooperation.

1 comment:

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Should judicial discipline be taken out of the hands of the judiciary?

Should judges be held accountable for allowing lawyers to file false, perjured and frivilous pleadings with no penalty?

Should applications for Child Support be denied without a divorce decree or separation order of support? (Married/Divorced Parents Only)

Should a parent who makes false allegations of child sexual abuse for the purposes of child custody get only Supervised Visitation?

Perjury in family court should be aggressively prosecuted?

Perjured applications for child support should be denied and aggressively prosecuted?

It should be mandated that child support arrears should be prohibited if a parent has interfered with custody & visitation during dissolution or custody proceedings?

I believe that child support arrearages given to a parent who has interfered with custody only encourages future denials of custody & visitation?

Do you believe that Judges and Prosecutors who refuse to enforce child custody are responsible for the escalation of domestic violence by non-custodial parents?

Do you believe that interference with custody is a willful action by the offending parent to cause significant mental & emotional distress on the victim child(ren)?

Do you believe that interference with custody is a willful action by the offending parent to inflict significant mental & emotional distress on the non-custodial parent?